Archive for the ‘are you kidding?’ Category

You know when weird things happen… At three the other morning the dog woke me barking. She’d done this several times the past week or so (**see later comment). I get up to basically tell her to shut the hell up and … I hear someone playing basketball at the neighbors.

Did I mention it was 3 AM!?!?

I, as quietly as possible, opened my front door and peered outside. There’s some blond kid-ish looking person playing basketball between my neighbor’s hoop and the one across the street. I ran and woke the hubby and he came to look. We couldn’t decide what to do. On the one hand, a kid should not be out of his house at three in the morning for any reason, but on the other… my first thought was if we talk to him he might mess with our cars (yeah, I tend to over-react as you know). The hubby (who’s clearly been with me too long) was thinking that it could be a ploy to draw someone out of the house to then rob him. (Like I said, he’s been subjected to me for too long)

We dithered so long the kid was gone. No harm no foul that we can do anything about.

The hubby headed back to bed but I was wound up tight and went to watch TV. By my third DVR’d show I was sleepy and it was just after five so I am ready to head to bed and I heard the same noise. Yep, the kid was back at it. Still thinking the nefarious thoughts, I called the non-emergency police number (which I sadly have on hand for numerous reasons) and told them about the kid. It took them fifteen minutes, but they do show up, and he’s still at it. I see them talking to the kid so I ran to my room to put on a bra incase they needed a statement from me (women understand this). By the time I got back to the door, I see the police cruiser driving off. WTF!!! Did they simply tell him to go home? It’s a kid. Out by himself. In the dark of the morning.

Well, hell.

I didn’t recognize him and was not about to go door to door to see which of my neighbors have a blond kid who may or may not have a tendency to slip out in the middle of the night. But damn that was annoying and ever so slightly anticlimactic! Now, I am wondering **if he does this often as the dog has woken me up almost every night going on a week now.

Next time, if there is a next time, I will just go yell and the little dude to get home and see what happens.


Read Full Post »

I *heart* analogies. I mean I REALLY do. And I use them probably way too frequently, I can’t help it. Some, I think is from the mom in me. When you tell a kiddo something and they give you that puppy dog head twist with puzzlement in their eyes, you have to get creative to explain in terms they understand.

And Whamo… it translates to the rest of my life as I am explaining why I don’t want to watch Moonlight on SciFi: “it’d be like buying a cake you knew would be bad before you could eat the WHOLE thing…y’know… just as your mouth starts watering you’re outta time for it J” makes perfect sense, no?


Not so much a stretch to me, I’ve already seen EVERY SINGLE episode and they’re not making more… but I digress…


I have come to learn that I have a damnable hard time turning off the mommy in me. (The dh can attest to this—sorry hon!) Still, ask me how to work track changes and I use words such as thingie and doohickey rather than icon. It’s not that I am talking down to folks—at least I hope it’s not perceived as such—it’s just that my mind is prepared to explain things to a 7-y-o and is pretty much stuck in that mode, until he turns eight. J


How can I write books with love and sex, murder and mystery with the mom of a 7-y-o mentality? I giggle a lot while typing (and blush a little from time to time) and remember what it was like BEFORE the little brats, er, ah, sweet dahlings came into my life (not that I have murdered anyone—lately…bwahhhh…)


As I digress a little more: That is always ever curious to me… folks always question the “how can you write sex scenes like that” but never once have I been asked how I can write about killing folks… not sure what that says about me—or them.


(and note to self… start posting writer’s tips including the explanation of track changes)


Track changes… Coming soon J




Read Full Post »


So okay, I mention my newness to Face Book. Once or twice the dh and I have communicated through that. How very sad, I know. I guess, though, if you’re on there and you think of something you need to tell the other person why not. It saves you ten whole seconds than to pull up Outlook and e-mail them or God forbid using the phone. (and believe me, nowadays my short attention span has decreased by half so in that ten seconds there is a real chance I WILL FORGET what it was I thought of in the first place)

It did get me wondering… how many times have you texted or IMed someone in the next room?


I can’t say the dh and I have done that at opposite ends of the couch, as I have heard tell of, but definitely when we didn’t want to scream over the kids noise and whatnot from one room to the next.

I will say though, that once the boys got old enough to understand what we were spelling, talking in front of them (or about them) has become more difficult–so we improvise! The dh has tried to spell things in sign language–why he thinks he knows sign language, I don’t know–but it never works and he ends up having to say it aloud anyway.

I thought it was a little lazy, off-putting, or disconnected when e-mail replaced good old phone calls (they get short changed on many different levels) and hand written letters. Not that I am complaining. I can e-mail ’til the day is done. I have no qualms or compunctions to hit the send key. Talking on the phone as an adult is not my favorite thing to do–when I was 15, just try to pry that sucker from my hand, you’d have walked away bloody–my brother may have once or twice. Nowadays, there are a few folks I will give a pass to, but for the most part I don’t dig phone calls. And letters take time. An e-mail is as instantaneous as the other person on the opposite end–now if they are like some people I know, it may be a day or two, but e-mail junkies like me have the little dingy thing that pops up every five minutes or so  😆

Worse–or funnier, depending on your warped sense of humor–yet, is when you are talking about someone online and you disguise it as something else. The only person not clued in is (hopefully) the target. Though this may not fall quite under the “Nuh-uh lack of comminucation/are you kidding me” category, it is sorta still in there I think. Kinda gossiping but not you know, since you’re not telling tales over a cup of coffee or burning up the phone wires. (Is that like eating standing up–the calories don’t count?!?!)

If the whole mental telepathy thing ever has a major breakthrough folks may never have to have face-to-face time again!

Read Full Post »